The Painful Effects of Divorce On Children
Divorce generates many negative feelings in a child’s mind. Many think that they caused the problem and think that they can change it. It’s also common that they worry that their parents have stopped loving them too. There are money problems and living arrangements that weren’t there before. Children wonder if anything will ever be right again, and they’d love to stop the divorce and save the marriage.
No matter which parent the children are assigned to live with, things have changed. Instead of Mom being able to stay home like she used to, she’s now forced to work, maybe even two jobs, just to make ends meet. If the non-custodial parent has been ordered to pay large child support payments, then he or she may not have money enough to pay for a decent place to live or to take the children to some of the places they went before the split. Parents may be distracted, depressed, and even cry a lot, and children pick up on every bit of it. They can’t possibly understand why their parents would want something that causes so much sadness.
Many children start doing badly in school because of a divorce. They keep thinking about the way things used to be and the way they are now. Children love both parents, and they don’t understand why their parents say they don’t love each other any more. They think that if their parents just tried harder, they could put the family back together again, and when that doesn’t happen, they wonder why their parents don’t care how unhappy they are. Although you’ll still love them, they can’t understand that since you say you don’t love their other parent anymore
Most children nowadays can see what real marital problems are. They may have witnessed abuse of some sort. They figure that Billy’s dad must really hate his mom, yet they are still together. Children wonder why their parents aren’t still together even if their marriage seemed better than their friend’s parents’ marriage. Children won’t understand why you’re not seeking help in order to fix the problem. They may feel like they aren’t worth it in your eyes.
Is that what you want for your kids?
Kristie Brown writes on a variety of topics from health to technology. Check out her websites on marriage advice and stop divorce